In the past five weeks, between returning from Israel and now, I have left my first "big girl" job, celebrated my 25th birthday, moved back out on my own in St. Louis, and started a new job. I traveled to Minnesota for orientation, went to see "Michael Jackson: The Immortal World Tour by Cirque du Soleil" (incredible), caught up on seeing Academy Award-nominated movies, and read all three books in the Hunger Games series (the books are what took up every moment of free time in the past week of my life and are the primary cause of my blogging delay) . Lots of big changes in not a lot of time!
Change is exciting. But I am bad at it. Because change is usually not comfortable. And i hate feeling uncomfortable. So I don't always cope with it well.
Big changes I'm facing right now:
New City, New Home - Technically I'm not in a new city at all. I know St. Louis fairly well, and have long referred to it as "the city I love." And that's true. But the last time I lived in St. Louis, I was an undergrad living in the bubble of SLU's campus. Of course I knew when I moved back things would be entirely different, but I'm beginning to realize just how different.
I'm living in a different part of the city, so I have to learn my way around again. Being downtown, I'm finding things are either within walking distance or they're about 20 minutes away, and parking is a royal pain. My apartment is surrounded by restaurants and bars, and my block is the place to be on the weekends. College Laura might have loved that, but I think I'm sort of past my party phase. (As I type this from my couch on a Saturday night...)
New Job - Not only have I started a brand new job, which is incredibly overwhelming, I have also started working from home. So really this category holds TWO very big changes.
There are parts about working from home that I am already loving. I'm finding on average I wear mascara less than 3 times per week, and my wardrobe consists largely of pajamas, workout attire and slippers. If I want to start working at 8, I can set my alarm for 7:45 and not be late. I can go to the gym during my lunch hour and not have to worry about being presentable afterward. I can fold laundry while I'm on a conference call.
Then there is that glaringly obvious part that I don't love: Being alone in my apartment all day. I have conference calls and webinars all the time, so I still interact with people throughout the day. But it's different. Once I get into things more, I will be doing some regional travel and visiting sites throughout St. Louis and southern Illinois, so I'm looking forward to that.
New People - There are a lot of people in my life right now that aren't new, per se, but the fact that they are now my support system and social network is new in a way. I still have many friends here from my SLU days, but we've not been a super-active part in each other's lives for the past 2.5 years, so it's interesting figuring out how we all fit together now.
And then there are the actual new people. My roommate, whom I'd met just twice before moving in. My coworkers, scattered throughout the midwest. My new friends who also work out at the downtown YMCA during their lunch hours. My (noisy) neighbors that I sometimes run into in the hallway.
New Me - Then there's ME. Throughout all these changes, I'm changing too, and I'm trying to figure me out. Who I am. Where I want to be. What I want to be doing. Who I want to be doing it with. It's a time to almost redefine who I am. Again -- exciting, but uncomfortable and kinda scary.
I'm trying to learn to embrace the discomfort and find the joy in every step of the journey. Because, really, I'm not in control here. I know God has a plan for me, and I can't wait to see what His plan holds. I know it's going to be more than I could ever imagine, so I'll just hang on and enjoy the ride!
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