Moving to St. Louis for undergrad was somewhat of a culture shock, and moving to Dallas last year was even moreso. Instead of a bumpy two-lane road populated by slow-moving tractors, I had to get used to driving in traffic with 4 lanes going each direction, with cars weaving in and out of lanes at 70mph. Rather than running into at least two people I was related to every time I left the house, I saw new faces of employees and students I didn't recognize at work and school every single day. When I went grocery shopping, I never ran into anybody I knew, and no one cared what I put into my cart. When out in the city, I was just another face in the crowd.
I'm not saying that I want to be just another face in the crowd necessarily... it's just what had become ordinary and comfortable to me, especially while in Dallas. Just as there is a comfort in seeing a familiar smiling face, there is also something strangely comfortable to me in knowing that it doesn't really matter what you wear, or where you're from, or what's happened in your past, or anything like that, because the people you see today don't know, probably don't care, and you may never run into them again.
Though it's a bit of reverse culture shock being back home, I can of course list hundreds of things that are great about being from a small town. There are a lot of things I have been enjoying since moving home that I had really missed... I love seeing millions of stars at night. I enjoy riding my bike down country roads, singing out loud, with only sparkling fireflies and graceful white-tailed deer as my audience. I like that winning a scholarship or landing a great new job is newsworthy, and will likely get your name and picture in the local newspaper. I take pride that the entire community comes together to visit and support a local church over homemade ice cream. I appreciate that the outdoor soundtrack each night consists of cicadas, coyotes, and crickets, rather than sirens and street traffic.
There are also hundreds of things I miss about living in a city. I loved being able to walk to Target from my Dallas apartment. I enjoyed having hundreds of restaurants to choose from, specializing in every kind of cuisine you can imagine. I treasured Forest Park in St. Louis, where I could run a different course every day of the week and still probably not see the entirety of the park. I adored having the Fox Theater just down the block from me at SLU, so I could go to several Broadway-quality productions a year. I am grateful to have met so many unique people with such diversity: color, race, religion, culture, beliefs, and more. I get excited about the seemingly endless possibilities and opportunities living in a city provides.
I am grateful to be able to have a balance of both these extremes in my life. Having lived in both settings has really shaped who I am today. There are things I have learned that I wouldn't have if I had stayed in a small town my whole life, or if I had only lived in the city. To be happiest, I need both in my life. I spent the past weekend in St. Louis, and loved every second of it. However, when I stay in a city too long, I get homesick for quiet Paloma. Although I hope to one day move back to St. Louis, a piece of my heart will always remain in small-town Illinois. Keeping both in my life keeps my heart and soul well-balanced.
